Thursday, November 29, 2007

Boy Genius. All Around Great Kid.

So I finally got my Hulu beta testing invite in the mail last night. Luckily Steep 'n' Brew's wi-fi was ultramegaArgentina slow, and so it didn't deter me from doing my homework. Lucky for me, I resorted to the usual distractions.

Hulu is a new project, owned by NBC Universal, which offers loads of TV programs, both old and new, and even some feature films [Weekend at Bernie's, people!]. It's not just NBC programming, as you can see by the image above, but has shows from all over. Users can embed full episodes in blogs or e-mails [examples below], in which you can highlight certain clips to cue.

After perusing for just a few minutes, a two word review: JUMPIN JIMINY! It all works pretty slick. The resolution is pretty is pretty good, it all streams pretty quickly, easily pause- and restartable, good fullscreen mode.... the way they can do this is through advertsing, however it's really not that bad. One 5-10 second clip at the beginning, and then during 30-min shows it seems they only do one commercial spot which lasts 30 seconds. Of course you can't get around those, but that 30 seconds give you more than enough time to CTRL+T and open your Gmail or check on your Ebay auction or maybe even make that move on Scrabulous [umm, Scrabulous-- anyone else need a new addiction?].

Hulu is the perfect answer to the desire to just want to remember a few older shows, but not wanting to go and drop $40 on an entire season. Really, who could sit through an entire season of WKRP in Cincinatti?

I chose to watch Doogie Howser, MD, as I didn't think I had the patience to sit through an entire A-Team or Airwolf, although yes, they're both available to watch.

Want proof of its awesomeness? Check out this ish, yo.

You can't do that.

And apparently if you're using MSIE, you can't see it, either. Go get a better browser.

And as if that wasn't enough, here's a Vinnie friggin Delpino moment! [yes, it is a different clip; looks to be the same right now, but just click on it already]

After watching this, I was amazed at how good this show really was. Don't snicker, it was good. Here's just a few of the moments I liked the most.

First, I feel the need to quote Vinnie’s wonderful line to the Big Doog in an effort to get more visitors to my blog by attracting all walks of perverts and pedophiles to my blog through their x-rated Google searches:

“Oh, I was just visiting with Doogie, Dr. Howser, listening to his plan to part Wanda Plenn's pulsating red lips with his probing pubescent tongue.”

And now to get the highbrow crowd, I gotta give Dee Hizzy's romantic rouse:

"Girls love getting sniffed. And then, I'll give her a lick on her lobule auriculare."

Spoiler alert!

If you weren’t old enough to watch this kind of smut, weren’t alive, or were like me and the Doogs and were too busy typing in your computer diary, you sure missed out. You can rewind one of those clips and watch the entire episode if you want, but I’m gonna spoil it.

During a birfday prank gone horribly embarrassingly awry, Nurse Spalding drops the Doogie Monster’s [her words, not mine] drawers and we learn two things: [1] Doogie’s voice can get higher, and [2] Douglas Jr is not the smallest doogie in the Howser family as, after being exposed in front of his doctorly colleagues, D'angles covers his dangle and runs off in shame.

D-Hows gets down to the L-O-C and to, like, totally ensure his ear-to-tongue action with Wanda, unloads half a bottle of aftershave on himself. In this montage, there are also plenty of clues that, knowing what we know now, make more sense: [1] He’s wearing pink-spotted boxers! [2] The skinny white boy can dance! [3] Doog Heezy has a James Dean poster. Duh.

Also, in a quicker recap:

Vinnie pukes down the front of some broad’s dress, D-Love smells her hair and then totally sticks his wet one in Wanda’s ear, but doesn’t get much play because some little black kid dies and he's beeped into the hospizzle. And then Dooger Ray Leonard punches a locker so hard that.... a magnet falls off.

All the morals at the end are so obvious/cliche/whatever that they aren’t worth mentioning. But after Doog Little proclaims that he just wants to be normal, Doog Big does dish this unjustifiably denied Emmy-deserving ditty:

“Because you’re not a normal kid. You’re Doogie Howser, MD… BG… AAGK…”

And then Mahatma Doogie goes and writes something profound and poetic about life on his magical computer that always comes on faster than my DualCore [and I’m not talking about my Intel].

The end.

In either clip, go straight to 18:56 to see Doogie's dirty deed go down; it's a beautiful moment and some of you could probably take some notes.

Never have the words doogie, probing pubescent tongue, wampa wampa, harvest dance, pencil neck and lobule auriculare, when used within the same thirty minutes, seemed so wrong. Wait.. yeah they’ve always been so totally damn wrong. Way to go Doog.


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